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Dr. Sapna's

Counseling & Life Coaching


We take pride in sending our children to the best school and we are prouder parents if we are driving our children for sports, arts, music and other activities. We leave no stone un-turned

 in exalting the achievements of our children every chance we get. On the other hand we do not hesitate much to reprimand and demean them when the children do not show much to exalt about.

“For lasting happiness, it is important to succeed” that’s what we have been taught to believe. I do not deny it either. However my contention is on the definition of ‘success’ that we have been given. I say ‘we have been given’ because that is the way precisely it is. We have hardly formed any definitions of our own since the day we came to this earth. Our surrounding, including our parents, relatives, teachers, friends, acquaintances and even systems, have their own definitions about everything and anything which they have collected from their surroundings in turn. Every time we interact with our surroundings we get impressed by their definitions of life. These impressions have tremendous influence on formation of our definitions and concepts and ideas and values and principles. This is how our concept of ‘success’ has also come to us.

This definition of success says- You are successful when you have good enough amount of Education, Money, Assets, Recognition and Status. Consequently, when you do not have any of these, you are not successful. Beginning our life with this definition, we set on a wild goose trail for the rest of our life. We educate ourselves, run in the race for promotions and learn some more and run some more and learn some more… every time believing that happiness would be waiting for us round the next corner.. and we keep running… do you see the fallacy here? We are on the path of success and though we have a few accomplishments on the way, the ultimate ‘success’ that is supposed to give us that mythical ‘Happiness’ keeps eluding us. You see those who set the definitions for us have conveniently skipped the part of telling us what is “Good enough”… I am sure they did not know it either and are on a blind trail themselves.

Effectively what we have acquired is wealth, degrees, assets and position and the ‘happiness’ that we had set in search off is still eluding us. You might argue in favour of the time you got your first degree, your envious job, the first salary, the dream house, the shining new car…. They sure were occasions for celebrating, and we celebrate in happiness. Well, for a moment, let’s suppose that your argument is valid, then I have a question for you, If these things are the source of your ‘happiness’ then how long did your happiness last each time? When you had relationship trouble the next time, did the memory of your new car or the pay cheque keep you happy and contented? The next times when things did not go through according to your plans, did the walls of your house make you feel secure and satisfied?

These questions are for you to answer for yourself, because I know my answers. But if your answers are similar to mine I think it’s time you need to understand the difference between ‘pleasure’ and ‘happiness’. What we have been experiencing till now, the excitement and adrenaline rush on our possessions and achievements, is in fact only ‘Pleasure’ which come to us from the stimulation of our sense organs- The organs that give us the feeling of ‘good’ when they come in contact with external attractions. It is a lovely feeling indeed, a very much wanted feeling and being in the human form we deserve it too. But it is still not the same as ‘lasting happiness’, it is temporary, fleeting and conditional. And these three words would take us to understand real lasting happiness that is called as “Bliss”. 

BLISS or TRUE HAPPINESS is thus a continuous phenomenon, it is here to stay and it is non- conditional. The feeling of happiness that stays with us as a feeling of contentedness and peace, in spite of the challenges of life is called as “Bliss”. Further, the absence of pleasures brings you sadness, but the bliss is just there, and hence there is no opposite of bliss, even though we may stop to deal with the challenges of life on the way.

Unfortunately, this term has been associated more with saints and spiritual pursuers for long. In fact, “renunciation” of the worldly pleasures has been put as a condition to gain “bliss’. And thus the most important need of every human being has been made into a “treasure meant to be out of reach for most and deserved by a handful that are ready for renunciation”.

Well, here is the good news, you and I are equally eligible for this nectar of bliss and believe me it is worth every bit it takes. We are here on this earth for taking our lessons and lessons have to come through pain, so challenges cannot be missed by anyone. However that does not mean that we have to live this life wallowing in pain and misery. We have a choice, the choice to experience the bliss that is our inherent nature in spite of the challenges.

You ask how is it possible in this world full of misery. The answer is right there with you, deep inside you where your bliss resides. The need is only to remove the layers and layers of coverings of ignorance and acquired definitions about our true self and to connect to our own soul. Is it very difficult? Well, again it has been made for us to believe that the achievement of self is possible for only a few. Trust me, YOU CAN. It is just a matter of believing that WE are a divine soul in human form. Some of us need some guiding hand to lead us gently to our core, but that is the only requirement- faith and patience to embrace your-self. The moment you can know the real you, love that person, other things would cease to bother you as much.

Once you reach your inner core, Bliss is not far away.


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